“You are not hidden… there’s never been a moment you were forgotten. You are not hopeless, though you have been broken your innocence stolen.” (Rescue by Lauren Daigle)
Have you ever felt hidden… forgotten… hopeless?
I had a “big-ish” birthday this year… I was TOTALLY prepared for it. I told myself that last year’s birthday was going to be soooo much harder than this years. (Why are some birthdays hard anyway?)
Who was I kidding? This year in general hit me like a ton of bricks. Why? I have no clue, but it did. Did I handle it very well? Well, I’d love to say that I dove head first into the Word and was like the BEST Christian around…. that DID NOT happen friends. Im not even going to try and sit here and be an “Ive got this all figured out, holier than thou” Christian… because I’m not. And I don’t think the world needs more people like that anyway.
What I will say is that the devil knows right where to hit me. He knows my weakness. And it’s right there hiding in that song. He knows if he can isolate me and make me feel invisible… hopeless, broken….. Then he thinks he’s won. This year he reminded me of all the “things” the “goals” that I once had, that I haven’t accomplished. He made me think that the road that I’ve been put on, this life that I’ve chosen… wasn’t necessarily where I was suppose to be or not even that- maybe it’s not where I WANTED to be… I started thinking differently and questioning my blessings- he stole my joy.
Did you see that last line? I allowed Satan to STEAL MY JOY. Plain and simple. And it was horrible.
Shoo it’s hard to be this transparent sometimes!
There was a real battle going on in my heart and in my mind…
My husband started coaching again this year. During coaching season, for those of you who aren’t married to a coach… there are lots of late nights. Nights alone… most nights you see them only from a distance, and then- oh ya, there’s the kids… the girls didn’t know what to think, or feel- so trying to be there for them and be both parents, while still trying to keep yourself together… it’s hard. You feel like you do life alone. You’re not able to really talk to your husband, more than just a few minutes here and there- and even then… you’re not sure if they’re really “there” or if they’re so exhausted they’re not processing what you’re saying, planning the next play, line up etc, or if they’re just thinking about something else… Now, I’m not saying a coaches wife is harder than being the wife of anyone one else… I understand that a military wife, law enforcement wife, heck- single parent- is WAY harder.
But this was our hard… and this was our season of exhaustion…. there was sooo many days where I was empty- and I don’t mean just my coffee cup!!!
Matthew 11:28 says “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest”
I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to identify with this verse more than at this time in my life.
I was honored to be able to help with our ladies fall fiesta at church. I was also able to sing a little special for it.. and the song I picked was the one above – Rescue- by Lauren Daigle. Seriously, if you’ve never heard the song- you should look it up!
One day when practicing that song to sing, it hit me. The words.
You are not hidden.
There’s never been a moment you were forgotten.
You are not hopeless.
I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS, your SOS.
I will send out an army to find you in the middle of the darkest night it’s true, I will RESCUE you.
Exodus 14:14 is one of my favorite verses ever.. I always thought it was to do with a war, or like literally “fighting” haha! (Which it was written in that time during a war in the Bible) but it has applied so much more to my life this year… It says “the Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still”… I realized that while I was going through this spiritual up and down in my life the Lord wasn’t just sitting back on His heavenly throne ignoring me, He was fighting for me… even if I couldn’t see it- He never stops fighting for us. I feel like He wrote these verses specifically because he knew this year at these moments I would need to read it, feel it, be consumed by knowing that even though I felt alone HE would be fighting for me, and He would give me rest.
Jesus wants to meet us right where we are. He wants to give us rest. He hears that whisper. He knows the exhaustion you’re feeling momma, when the kids are being kids- and they’ve fought more then they’re getting along. When you’re husband is working out of town, or a coach-like mine, or it’s just that season of life where you feel like everything is hitting hard and you’re some Disney princess warrior trying to beat it all off, but the happily ever after never seems to be around the corner.
Jesus sees you. He sees your tears as you put on your makeup, when you try to cover the dark circles around your eyes, He feels your insecurities and your worries that you’re screwing up your kids or that you’re not enough for your family. He sees when you fall asleep before your head hits the pillow, or the nights you toss and turn because you can’t shut your mind off- He sees it all. And he wants to meet you right there. Let Him meet you there, friend. Let Him fight for you, let Him give you rest. You can’t do it on your own.